good thing vaginas are great cup holders
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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