i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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