I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
