This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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