youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
