i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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