My room smells like vodka and shame
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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