Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
