That's intense
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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