you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
