Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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