Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
