She said her name was "party"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
