I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
