They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
