Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Sorry about my life...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize