I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
