this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Shitshow foam night was such a success
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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