Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
