garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
