Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
