Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
