the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Plan B is the new Plan A
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
