he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
