I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
