Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
