is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
