My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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