It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
