remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
