I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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