The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
