To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
