my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
