I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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