Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
