Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
and she was petting her beer can
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
