she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
her vagine was all disorganized.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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