absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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