The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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