Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
