dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
