did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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