but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I think people are normalizing furries
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
