so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
