i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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