Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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