i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
