i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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