I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
