We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
