Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize