do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
