Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
