just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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