What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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