i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
