i permit you to call me
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
