I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
