Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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