i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
