Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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