i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
