you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
