I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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