dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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