he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
