those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
