After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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